March 30, 2009

For me, a state of healer burnout exists...


Right now, with the flavor of the month class being capable of tanking, healers are even more rare and precious than ever. I get that. I really do.

I get it right between the eyes.

Until WotLK came out, the four classes I'd leveled the highest were the four healing-capable classes. Shaman, priest, druid, and paladin, in that order. When I leveled my shaman, she was resto for most of it. I loved it. There's nothing like being the hero that saves the group and keeps the tank alive and does the cleansing and everything else a good healer does. It's really rewarding, especially in a group that appreciates their healers.

It's a lot of responsibility, however. A good healer is golden. A bad healer is mocked soundly, and rightfully so. A bad healer is a huge liability in a group.

Also? I'm a little bit of a perfectionist. When things go wrong, I don't go around blaming others. I ask what I did wrong first. What could I have done better? What was wrong with me? Why was I throwing HoTs on that person when I should have been throwing a big heal on that other person? Why did I cast swiftmend when the tank was only down by a little bit? Why didn't I cast it when it could have saved the tank? Why do I always forget Nature's Swiftness???

Top that off with the frustration of not knowing a huge part of most fights, because I'm too busy looking at health bars and whatever crap/fire/disease/void zone might spawn underneath me and kill me in one fel swoop, and eventually it leads to the need for a long vacation. There were some nights I'd log out after a raid in tears from the frustration.

Much as I love the glory of healing, at heart I'm a DPSer. I get off on big crits. I giggle when accidentally pull aggro from the tank. I swoon when I top the dps meters. I ♥ big numbers! I'm a girl with an epeen and the desire to show it's just as big as any guy's!

So, I've been in heaven this week. I've finally been able to take my little DK to places and get gear for a change, instead of just badges. I've watched her claw her way up the dps meters, so that she's in the top ten and not hovering somewhere right above (or even below!) the tanks. Sure, pally tanks are kick-ass in Naxx, but last Sunday I knew I wasn't helping the raid much when I was hovering right there with my favorite pally tank. He's geared as all hell, but he's a tank and I'm supposed to be dps. This week? Not a problem. I was somewhere in 6th or 7th place. (My Recount put me at 7th, but others put me at as high as 5th on some fights. Woot!)

Mini rant: Dear fellow DKs. Do not cast Army of the Dead whenever the heck you feel like it. I don't care if it's a PuG. Gluth is not one of those fights you want to pull those guys out on, thanks. Please know the fights.

It feels good to be able to prove that I'm not one of the new wave of useless idiot DKs. I'm good at what I do. I don't stand in shit, and I learn from my mistakes. I love being able to see the fight, and not just the health bars. I love my big numbers. I love my little evil gnome.

I know me. At some point I'll get frustrated with being just another dps. I'll start asking if I can take my druid to raids again, especially with Ulduar on the horizon and the chance to get a legendary item. Mmmm...legendary heals. I'm drooling already.

But, for now, I'm still enjoying the big numbers, and I'd rather stare at boss ass than health bars.

1 comment:

Borin said...

At least you don't stare at boss crotch! Tanking has some of the most interesting views in the game... err maybe?

Borin