/roll for blame

It's been a while since I updated this. First I had issues with my eyesight, then roommate troubles, and finally the relationship I've been in for the last 10 years came to an end. It's been rough, and I've had a hard time finding motivation to write in my blog. I feel like I've been completely pwned by real life, and that has sapped all of my energy.

I'm going to make every effort to return to this, however. I enjoy my little corner of the WoW blog arena. So, I'm going to ramble about some of my oldest friends in the game, and how I got where I am.

See, I'm terribly shy. IRL I have sneaking suspicions I have social anxiety disorder, from what I've read about it. That is reflected somewhat in game, mostly in that I go out of my way not to initiate prolonged social contact. I'll throw out the occasional one-liners in trade or in a group attempting the door boss, but that's the extent of it. I have never joined LFG on my own accord. I don't PuG unless someone I know asks me to join the group.

So, how's a girl like me get into a raiding guild? Well...it took a while. I did it one person at a time. First, by going along with my ex when he would find a group, and then making friends with those people and so on and so forth. And, my first step in raiding was the guild The Night Crew. They're a bawdy bunch, and they believe that a raid without beer just isn't a raid. They taught me the basics, like the first rule of healing. "Stay with your tank." If my tank is around the corner, I have to be AT the corner, or he just might die and take the rest of us with him! I'd spent many an instance just hanging back, waiting for the tank to get in range...

We were a Kara raiding guild, but with half our members at least tipsy or sleep deprived (late night means calling the raid at 2 am most nights) a lot of mistakes happened. Nobody took this raiding thing exactly seriously...we were friends who wanted to do something online together. In order to keep things drama free, to keep friendships despite dumb mistakes and stuff, they started rolling for blame long before I joined their group. It kept the momentum going, and nobody had to suffer through the humiliation of a screaming tirade a la the Onyxia Wipe video.

Through NC, I met the guild leader of Honored Exiles, and a few other members of the guild. Nervously, I applied to this group that dared to move beyond the halls of Kara to TK and SSC. I followed my ex to Dont Panic for a few months on my main, but I'd found a home in HE, despite my shyness. They were good people, and good players, and there were other women around to talk to without the whole guild imploding in drama. (I'm referring to my attempt at a guild on an RP server. I think now that the RP part was at least 75% of the problem...the other 25% being one girl in particular who is still wondering why all her guilds implode in a huge mass of drama.)

Still, the guys in NC are some of my favorite people on earth. I can't stay up to raid with them often, since I'm on a more normal sleep schedule these days, but whenever I get the chance to I love every minute. They make me feel good about myself. They're generous, they're fun, and I owe them everything I am in game these days.

I was having an absolutely rotten day yesterday, and I was just about to give up when I was invited to a regular ToC with them. I dusted off my shaman and went with them, getting a couple of upgrades, and just having fun. ToC lead to heroics, which lead to 10-man OS on my paladin, which lead to Naxx, and since the other tank on the run already had Ulduar gear (he runs with my HE group most weeks) I ended up with a lot of gear, a lot of confidence in my tanking ability, and a complete turn-around of my day. I went to bed feeling good about myself, instead of next to tears.

I'm so glad those guys have been a part of my life, even if it's only a virtual life. They've had an impact on my real life as well.

No matter how much people say "It's just a game," there are real people behind the avatars. You affect them. You have an effect on their lives.

Never burn your bridges behind you. Even if something is "in the past" it can still have value to your future.

Don't underestimate the value of a good friend, even if you've never met.

And always, always, ALWAYS blame Ciandros when you can't roll for blame.